Award season

It’s that time of year again when anyone who is anyone in PR will have dusted off their mantelpiece and plopped a brand, spanking new industry award or few on it.

Well… I’m pleased to announce that here at Source we’re not just anyone.

And we like our mantelpiece just as it (which for the inquisitive among you is slightly dusty and packed full of the kind of rubbish the Generation Game would love to have had on its conveyor belt – there’s a pile of old hard drives, a couple of crap golf ornaments, a picture of a much much younger Peter and Steve holding the FA Cup, and a toy car packed full of loose change that’s meant to be used for stamps should the need ever arise again).

There is, of course, a perfectly valid reason for a lack of awards on our beautifully stocked mantelpiece, and that is that we don’t spend days and days every year filling out the various forms, and signing off all the cheques that are the prerequisites of being considered ‘amongst the best’ in the industry.

And while I don’t begrudge any of the companies currently celebrating their ‘wins’, I do feel these PR Industry awards would carry a great deal more weight if the gongs were handed out by the people we target on a regular basis – that is, of course, the journalists who are inundated with PR stories and calls every single day. Surely then only the best would be recognised and then they’d truly have something to shout about. Hell, we might even clear a bit of space on our mantelpiece for something as meaningful as that.

Anyway, as we don’t have any industry awards to write about, I thought we’d hand out a few Source gongs instead. So without any further ado, here are the Source Marketing Awards 2016.

 

The Martha Phillips Social Media Guru Award for Top Tweeting goes to…

Marta Rijo

She may not be Martha Phillips, Source’s resident social media guru, but Marta out Martha’ed Martha in November when just one tweet racked up 36,917 impressions and 2,899 engagements

 

The Tippex Invisible Man Award goes to…

Steve Clark

Keen to retire, but not keen enough to jump right in at the deep end, Steve now enjoys the perfect work life imbalance with his one day working weeks.

 

The Enid Blyton Storyteller Supreme Award 2016 is shared between…

Martha Phillips and Peter Downey

Whatever you do don’t make the mistake of asking Peter about the day Emmerdale came to film at his son’s pub or for that matter ask him about the pub, which just so happens to be the original Woolpack from Emmerdale. Also, don’t even consider for a second asking Martha about the time she had her photo taken with middle-age mum band the All Saints. Believe me, you will never ever hear the end of it from either of them.

 

The Fairy Soft Suds Lifetime Achievement Award for Duties To Washing Up goes to…

Steve Clark

He comes in one day a week. His name is on the washing up roster for that day. He has a diary reminder in Outlook that it’s his day for the dishes. He uses more dishes than most. And leaves them in a far greater mess. But still he never washes them. We’re hoping this award will jolt him into action in 2017.

 

The Bellway Homes Changing The Name Of A New Housing Development Just To Fit In With A Not Very Good Press Release Headline goes to…

Daniel Kennedy

The not very good headline was PINE VIEW’S FINE NEW VIEW HOME. The problem with it was that that the development wasn’t called Pine View.

 

The Smash Hits Award For Referencing An Early 90s Hit Single Title In A Press Release About Cable Cleats Award goes to…

Daniel Kennedy

The cable cleats were from Ellis. They’d been specified for safety reasons by Costa Rican electricity authority, ICE (Instituto Costarricence de Electricidad). The headline?

- ICE EYES SAFETY

 

The Arctic Monkeys, I Bet She Looks Good On The Dancefloor Award for Services To After Work Drinks goes to…

Martha Phillips

She will definitely be going for just the one straight after work. You can guarantee she will say, “we might as well make it a bottle” when she gets to the bar. The last train will without a shadow of doubt be missed. Dawn will almost certainly be on the verge of breaking when she finally makes it home. And you can put your house on the fact that the next day she will spend most of the morning complaining about aching limbs brought on by her attempts at break dancing and any other high impact dance moves that involve flailing around on a dancefloor like an overturned crab.

 

The She Doesn’t Even Like Football It’s So Not Fair Her Team Won The Euro’s Award goes to…

Marta Rijo

She’s Portuguese. She doesn’t even like football. It’s so not fair her team won this summer’s European Championships. If it’d been England we’d have had the rest of the year off to celebrate. But no. It was b*@!%y Portugal. And Marta didn’t even have a hangover.

 

And finally… The I’m Leaving A Little Early Today (But I Was In Before The Sparrow Even Thought About Farting) Award goes to…

Peter Downey

2016 has been the year of leaving a little early for Peter. In his defence though he does always tell us that he was in when the rest of the world was still tucked up in their beds. And he has had a big year of extra-curricular activity, including, in no particular order, selling-a-restaurant-marrying-off-a-daughter-becoming-a-granddad-being-golf-club-president-sitting-on-the-Shipley-steering-committee-dib-dobbing-and-funny-handshaking-weekly-pub-quizmastering-front-of-pub-housing-coach-trip-planning-being-ifuriated-with-his-planners-and-wait-for-it-the-list-is-nearly-done-having-major-surgery. Quite what excuses he’ll come up with for maintaining the habit in 2017 remain to be seen.

 

And with that, we’re off to get sloshed on cheap champagne and take selfie after selfie of us celebrating our earth-shattering achievements.

Written by Daniel Kennedy, 23/11/2016